Day of Rain
by Depraved Doll
Summary: Sometimes despite all the pain it caused he just wanted to remember, wanted to remember how his flesh had felt against his own, how his teeth had felt against his neck, how he tasted other times he tried so hard to forget... Clack,


_**Day of Rain **_

_**Rating- **__M (some form of lemon lies within.... yaoi lemon... be afraid...)_

_**Disclaimer- **__These characters and places are not mine nor do I claim for them to be they belong to Square Enix, I just play with them from time to time and make no profit from it :(_

_**Summary- **__Sometimes despite all the pain it caused he just wanted to remember, wanted to remember how his flesh had felt against his own, how his teeth had felt against his neck, how he tasted other times he tried so hard to forget... Clack, _

_My first ZackxCloud fic on this site, I hope you enjoy..._

_XxxxXxxxX_

Cloud had never liked the rain, it forced him to remember things he would rather not, like the way stone's bit into his forearms, the way blood congealed on his skin, the way red stained his hair. He stared out of his window as the raindrops trickled together and stumbled across the glass, he traced their path with his fingertip, the thick leather of the glove preventing the cold from seeping into his skin. He could remember the chill against his flesh despite himself, soft words and repressed gasps, the hand that wound so tightly into his hair, the beat that he would never force from his ears.

"Cloud?" no one would ever understand, he titled his gaze from the window to glance at the boy as he slipped into his room, closing the door with a gentle click; he smiled brightly at the blond who found he couldn't quite mirror the expression on his own face. There had only ever been one person who could bring a smile to his face even whilst he was at his lowest but that person was gone now and he felt as if he were forgetting how to bring the gesture to his lips as time stretched out before him hauntingly. He knew what the boy wanted to ask, he wanted to hear the war stories, the reason Cloud became trapped to that window every time the heaven's opened, the reason he couldn't smile any longer.

He couldn't tell him because he didn't want the memory, the ghost of touches that had once been, that he still craved even now, couldn't they understand that it was just too much for him, that he still suffered even now. He could feel calloused hands on his neck, strong and inescapable, not that he would have pulled away even if he had been able to, the lips were warm and he closed his eyes with the pain of the memory. He had never been willing to let go, to move on, he'd never had something so amazing.

"Tifa's worried about you," what was he meant to say, that she worries too much, that he needed her to leave him alone, that sometimes despite all the pain it caused he just wanted to remember. Wanted to remember how his flesh had felt against his own, how his teeth had felt against his neck, how he tasted, the sounds he had made as they moved together, the very things he sometimes struggled to force out of his mind,

"I know," was the only thing he could force past his lips and he felt the bemused expression crossing the child's face as he settled on the edge of the bed, watching the elder with something similar to awe, he had looked at _him _like that once, it had ended with sweat and slick bodies, with hands fisted into hair and groans so guttural they couldn't be passed as anything other than what they were. His eyes shut tightly, reopening as if the pain had never been there, secretly it always was.

"You never tell us why," he wondered why he should, why should he bare his soul, all the secrets that warmed his acing heart in the deep of night, why should he share such cherished things with anyone?

"There's a lot that you don't know about me," he all but whispered to the glass, hushed in between the water droplets that stuck to the surface like glue. The boy sighed and began to fiddle with the laces of his trainers; he had never seen the blond quite this distant, quite so troubled. Cloud was such an enigma, he admired the man in many ways but he felt so separated from him all the time, Denzel admired his strength and courage, but he always thought Cloud refused to become involved with anyone and he never even tried to explain why to them. Like they didn't deserve to know and for that he didn't think he could ever forgive Cloud for how callous he could be sometimes.

"Maybe you'll be happier to see him," he mumbled biting his lip thoughtfully as he stood from the bed and walked towards the door, he followed the boy with his eyes, confusion evident in the bright blue orbs, Denzel smiled broadly and shrugged, "said he was an old friend," Cloud's brows merely furrowed in confusion. Denzel stretched slightly before turning his attention back to the door, "looks well cool," he chuckled and opened the door, disappearing as it slammed closed. Cloud stared at the door for a heartbeat longer after the boy had left, shaking his head slightly and turning his attention back to the window.

The creak of the door opening seconds later had not alarmed him, he presumed it to be either Denzel returning for something he had forgotten or Tifa coming to pry him from his self-pitying musings. His alarm resurfaced however when strong hands gripped his shoulder and spun him from the window to meet with violet flecked eyes. A familiar smile graced a familiar face and his heart thundered to a stop,

"Tell me you're not crying over me," if he remembered how to form words he wouldn't have been able to think of anything to say, instead he reached out, pressing his hand to the warm flesh of the other's face, a gloved finger traced the scar that led up from the strong jaw line. He couldn't force the breath into his lungs and Mako flared as it struggled to maintain his body despite his shock.

"Zack?" that trademarked smile and it never could have been anyone else, that perfect sun-kissed skin, the thick raven hair that struck a hauntingly beautiful contrast with blue eyes. "H... h... how?" he all but whispered and Zack's lips were so close to his own that he feared moving them for the fire that might spark between them.

"Does it matter?" he asked, voice that same honey rich tone that had always gripped and held Cloud's attention no matter what was going on around them. He stared at the elder for a moment and shook his head because if he was honest it didn't matter at all. The blond blinked a few times after that and Zack smirked ruffling the golden spikes as he had always done when they were in ShinRa together. "I'm not going to disappear Cloud, I'm not a dream," as if to prove it he brought the blond against his chest allowing him to feel the heartbeat that pounded strongly beneath the layers of clothing, skin and muscle. "Did you miss me?" that same smirk that Cloud was sure had caused thousands to fall before he himself, it kick started his heart and soothed the Mako that burnt beneath his skin, the feeling of being so close to this man again pushing his senses into overdrive.

He had been the one to grip Zack's shoulders, to slam him against the wall that held the window in place, to mash their lips together in a desperate attempt to _feel _to _believe_. Zack hadn't shied from the sudden show of affection on the younger's part instead he embraced it fully, succumbing to the younger's lips and tongue allowing it to explore his mouth and taste him for the first time in what, for the two of them, felt like an eternity. Zack's hands tangled into Cloud's hair, holding tightly as if refusing to let the blond go. Cloud didn't complain even if the grip was a little on the painful side, to him it was perfect, using the leverage the elder had on the blond's head he tugged backwards and began to assault the pale neck, only partially obscured by the black top he was wearing. Cloud groaned as the elders teeth brushed against his flesh, assaulting his senses with what he felt in the present and the memory of the same occurrence in the past.

"You're a bastard," Cloud ground out as Zack's hand slid beneath his shirt, running across the muscles that had developed so much more since the last time he had touched the blond. The elder merely chuckled into the flesh of the neck he had previously been assaulting, he turned his attention back to the younger, his lips so close they almost touched when they spoke and Cloud had the urge to nip at them.

"You don't really believe that do you Spike?" Cloud groaned softly at the way the words had washed over him, his hips bucked, desperate for some sort of pressure to each the tension that had begun to form between his legs. Zack had chuckled staring into sapphire that refused to move from his form, he allowed his hand to cup the younger's cheek, tears painfully repressed in the blond's eyes , "You really did miss me..." he all but whispered almost surprised by the silent admittance in the younger's sapphire depths.

"Why did you do it..." nothing more than a hushed tangle of words that were heavy with sorrow and pain and the desperation to keep tears at bay, yet Zack had read volumes into it and he had placed a tender kiss to the tear that had slipped past the blond's defensive.

"Why?" Cloud had nodded, staring directly into the dark haired male's eyes to ensure he was receiving the truth, Zack smiled warmly and the blond's stomach fluttered at the sight, "because I love you..." Cloud seemed to have trouble comprehending the words and the other smiled softly before leaning in and placing a gentle, loving, kiss to slightly trembling lips. He folded easily into the elder's arms, the warmth and security beckoning him to sink further into it, to merge so deeply that they became interlocked. "You're not really a Chocobo head anymore," the dark haired male mumbled brushing his face against the silken golden strands that framed the younger's head like a halo. Cloud allowed the words to wash over him; he had always adored Zack's voice,

"How could you leave?" that gentle, supportive smile, that hand that fit so perfectly against his cheek, the warmth that so pleasantly flooded into him and he was terrified that it would seep away, disappearing like snow when the sun rose the next morning.

"I didn't want to," he brushed his lips against the blonde's, their bodies seeming to tangle further even as they stood, for Cloud everything ached to be touched and he didn't care about the world around him, about anything, it had all faded with those bright blue, violet flecked orbs and the way they read him so easily. "I never wanted to leave you," his voice was deeper, even huskier and the raw need that burnt in the words caused a shiver to run through Cloud's body.

The bed was soft and accommodated for the blond as he was all but thrown onto it, Zack's strength had always amazed him, had always caused his stomach to flutter with anticipation, he enjoyed how the dark haired male could hold him down with one hand whilst the other did unspeakable things to the pallid flesh below. He watched his dark haired friend, watched the way his eyes glowed, the way each glove was removed with a practised ease, they tumbled to the floor wordlessly and in a heartbeat their lips were pressed together again, Cloud's hands desperately gripped at Zack, tangled in hair and tugged at clothes. Cloud had never been this needy, not for anyone but this man, this beautiful, strong, SOLDIER, that lit up the room with his smile and looked at the blond in a way that so easily stole his breath.

Limbs tangled and the shoulder guard with the wolf shimmering upon it tumbled to the floor, glistening slightly as it hit against the wooden boards with a resonating thud that seemed to echo for far longer than it actually did. The sound of a zipper and the younger's top soon joined its counterpart discarded on the floor, Zack's hands felt wonderful against his skin, the dark haired male placed a tender kiss to the scar on the younger's shoulder marring the perfect alabaster skin he knew without words it had been dealt by Sephiroth's blade, the width, the way it had healed.. Cloud grabbed desperately for the elder, quickly shedding him of his shirt and allowing his own hands to run across the familiar flesh, the muscles taught beneath his fingertips, the elder merely watched as the younger seemed to marvel over him. He lifted Cloud's hand from his chest bringing it swiftly to his lips and placed a tender kiss to the back of the gloved hands before removing the leather sheaths.

The temperature seemed to rise and the slight flush to Cloud's cheeks could have been explained by any number of factors, the way his eyes glazed with lust, the way his body burnt, the way it reacted that was all down to one thing, to the man above him who's eyes had always glowed with that unnatural Mako and their natural presence. He leant up, capturing the elder in a quick kiss that he had not expected and they both smiled into it, all trace of clothing now removed from their bodies, it was all so familiar and all so new. They revelled in it, in the way heartbeats rose and groans slipped from tight lips, in the way bodies fit together so perfectly in the way skin felt against skin, raw and primal and the very heat that threatened to consume them.

Cloud made the most erotic sounds, Zack had never been able to shake them from his head and as beautiful as the blond was he was even more so when he was bucking beneath the former SOLDIER, skin flushed and aglow, those coral coloured lips parted just slightly to let those sinfully perfect utterances slip through, the way his eyes fluttered open and closed with every thrust, hazed and yet so fixated whenever they caught his own. Zack leant down to kiss at the younger's neck once more and those delectable groans stumbled from Cloud's lips as he alternated between biting and suckling, torturing the overly sensitive flesh.

Cloud felt completely lost, unsure where he ended and Zack began and he didn't want it any other way, didn't want the moment to end, his desire and love for the man above him threatened to consume and overwhelm him and he gripped at the elder's back to keep routed in the realisation that he really was there and not just some perfectly constructed incredibly real dream. Zack gripped him in that moment and all doubt fluttered away with the moan that flitted into the air, he bucked desperately and Zack groaned as well, his breath ghosting over the younger's skin. They came together, a jumble of limbs and flesh, words were beyond them then but the way Zack pushed himself to Cloud, the way the blond gripped at his companion's hair said more than their words ever could.

As the skin cooled and the thoughts began to return to their minds Zack placed a tender kiss to his lover's forehead, his eyes locking with sapphire when those bright orbs had sought his own out, the elder allowed his hand to stroke through shimmering gold, amazed at how soft it felt to the touch. Cloud's own hand traced the scars that were scattered across Zack's skin, the one's he had memorized so long ago and the newer ones he didn't dare to cast his gaze over for too long. His hand had stumbled across one that traced the skin before his heart and the elder's own hand clasped over it keeping it tightly to his chest and the blond raised an eyebrow in mild confusion. The elder merely smiled and placed a chaste kiss to the younger's lips,

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," Cloud bit his lip at the admission at the way he twisted and turned it over and over in his head. It stained his mind and he shook his head, his eyes challenging as he met soft blue.

"No, I wouldn't let you," his words held a definitive pain to them but Zack's touch soothed it instantly and Cloud closed his eyes so that he could simply _feel _the flesh against his own, the warmth, the life, he met Zack's eyes a heartbeat later, "I love you," it was hushed against the elder's lips and the former SOLDIER smiled at the admittance embracing Cloud once more and placing a kiss atop of his head.

"I don't plan on going anywhere, not this time," he allowed their fingers to entwine listened to Cloud's breathing as it evened out and the younger fell asleep and when he did he pulled the blanket up around them and allowed himself to fall asleep beside his younger lover for the first time in years.

XxxxXxxxX

_Hm... well I didn't intend for this to be my first ZackxCloud fic up but it sort of ran away with itself, I blame the Chocobo muse, I hope you enjoyed anyway and hopefully it's a taste of things to come, I'm not sure how I feel about this one so let me know what you think ^_^ _


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